This is a joke, but I’m not kidding.
Control access on the frontend?
“So we have an Access Control Config System. We want to control which users can access the page, none for now, while we are testing the feature on prod. How about we add a flag on the frontend for that?”
Developing utter confusion
D: I’m developing this feature, and I don’t understand what it does. Will the customers?PO: Sure, it’s all detailed in the documentation.
Validation mf, do you use it?
D1: Why do I need to send the account number with every request?
D2: so we know which account you want to query.
D1: Wait, I already have a session, I can’t query other people’s account details only the user’s that’s associated with the session anyway, right?
D2: We don’t validate that, so you can. But why would you?
Goodhart’s law
Most recently popularised by Rory Sutherland:
When a measure becomes a target, it ceases to be a good measure.
Storypoint dilemma
SM: We need to deliver more storypoints, because there’s a team we don’t even work together with that’s delivering twice as many storypoints.
D: I can double my estimates any time if that’s what makes management happy.
SM: Please do.
Bug? Feature? Spreadsheet!
Management makes low bug count a target.
TL: Please don’t use the bug reporting system, use a shared Excel instead. It’s way faster to deal with bugs this way.
Fake it, ‘till others don’t make it
D: Why do we need to do overtime long into the night? We are weeks off from finishing and the original deadline is tomorrow.
TL: I know that, you know that, but the canadian teams don’t know that. If they own up to being late before we do, we can say we would’ve been ready to integrate. They need to see that we are in the final stretch, working overtime to meet the deadline.
Demo
Demo now, worry later.
It works on my computer
D: The feature is ready for review, it already works well on my computer.
M: Then why don’t you demo it from your computer?
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